Today I am 40!  As my son would say so succinctly, “Well, THAT happened.”

I spent my late 20s and 30s primarily in charge of keeping a tiny human alive and unscarred both physically and mentally, and secondarily in navigation of some…shall we say “interesting”…marital and family landmines, as well as learning to manage my health issues of anxiety, osteoarthritis, and fibromyalgia.  Always a natural introvert, I turned even further inward in a big way to keep my own house in as much order as possible.  I got myself a short, no-nonsense haircut and a baggy wardrobe, worked a couple of part-time teaching jobs where I was away from home as little as possible outside of school hours, and basically checked out of society for a good decade plus some so I could get on with my business.   My purpose in life was to be on hold – to wait to be needed, either by our extended family, my kid, or my workplace.

And now I’m ready for a change, scary as it is. Now that I have settled a lot of the family business, my kid is a teenager in high school, and FORTY is here, I want a different job.  I want to be creative again, and make things and ideas of my own.  I want to feel healthy and attractive.  And I feel like it would probably be a good idea for me to be better at some aspects of external adulting for when I am forced to do so, no matter how overrated much of it may be.

As a calendar-designated “grown-up,” here are some things I want to a) know how to do, b) try to see if they are all they’re cracked up to be, or c) actually complete in my 41st year of life.

My overarching goal this year is to BLOG – this ticks off boxes for writing, technical development, creative and artistic development, personal discovery, research/reading, stretching my comfort zone, social interaction (of a sort), and several more I will think of or discover as I go along. Other pursuits will include:

PERSONAL GROOMING

1. Create a face and skin care routine with actual beauty products (drugstore or homemade doesn’t matter)
2. Dress up for special occasions – my style, but actually stylish and not just “there, I’m clean and not in jeans, handle it”
3. Take care of my janky feet so they are soft and hurt less
4. Apply minimal and natural makeup to look fancy but not creepy when desired
5. Style my hair in such a way that I can make it look fancy when desired but not be required to “do” it every day
6. Try some bras/underwear that are not gigantic white granny panties and over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders
7. Get a manicure and pedicure

8. Journal a majority of days using self-discovery prompts to rediscover what I am interested in enough to study more
9. Track moods and anxiety/depression symptoms to better stay on top of my emotional energy levels
10. Sort out what’s important to worry about and what needs to be chucked in the fuck-it bucket…then do the appropriate chucking
11. Meditate for 10 minutes a day for relaxation
12. Read and review/note an average of one book a month about self-work
13. Practice regular self-care to keep my cup full so I can fill others’ cups from it when needed

14. Walk at least 1 mile every day
15. Do some form of strength exercise every other day
16. Practice stretching/yoga every other day
17. Schedule a mammogram (UGH 40 UGH) and attend regular doctor’s appointments at least once a year
18. Go to the dentist at least once a year
19. Lose 30 more pounds before October 2018, then maintain with DASH Diet

20. Learn how to run a WordPress blog and post in it weekly
21. Learn how to take and manipulate good photos using PicMonkey and/or Photoshop
22. Practice lots of different crafting methods to discover what I like to work with best
23. Hone my skills in the crafts I already like (coloring, papercrafts)
24. Study and practice herbal medicine to support the conventional medicine I have to depend on
25. Write one poem or story a month to re-energize creative writing flow
26. Figure out how I want to make fun money – keep subbing?  Advertise on blog?  Freelance writing?  Other?

27. Create and keep housecleaning schedule
28. Use planner and calendars effectively to keep everyone on track for work/school/social
29. Use bullet journal to keep track of bookkeeping (bills, streaming TV, online orders, etc.)
30. Meal plan and prep weekly for DASH Diet
31. Maintain yard and garden to personal standards
32. Create and use a garden journal to track plant needs and harvests

33. Figure out the balance between setting and protecting boundaries and being kind/forgiving mistakes
34. Figure out how to balance husband’s need for family with my need for distance from the in-laws
35. Support and encourage husband’s efforts to control work stress and develop professionally
36. Support and encourage son’s efforts to navigate puberty and high school challenges/drama
37. Support and encourage parents’ journey through health-care challenges and retired life
38. Make a regular time to visit with momfriends now that our kids are too big for playdates
39. Make more of an effort to visit with distant friends, whether through in-person visits or online
40. Work on deferring/trusting higher-clearanced individuals over myself (very hard for a questioner and an INTJ!)